Thursday, October 11, 2012


So much has happened in these last months... some days I still struggle to shoulder the stress, as my boyfriend and I now live together in his small apartment, while I drive back and forth to see my kids, until we can get a bigger apartment. It still feels like the right decision, because I had come to a place where the house just wasn't home anymore. N decided his home should be my home too, and so the decision was made. I'm still in the process of moving stuff out of the house, most of which will go into storage, because we don't have room in the apartment for much. Every night I feel glad to come home, and I'm so happy to see N at the end of the day. I do miss some of my things...

There's some ongoing stuff with N and his ex, but so far we're handling it. I feel like the stuff that happens between those two is probably not really outside the norm considering the toxicity of their relationship, and I suppose it will always be that way to some degree. Sad, but it is what it is, and we're all trying to move forward. Despite the baggage that comes with that relationship, N and I both feel incredibly grateful to have a healthy, stable relationship in which we both feel safe. It helps to remember that when stress levels are high.

Work is evolving... new tasks are being added, some better than others. I've had some mighty tedious days lately, but being busy is always better than not having enough to do. Some days I feel such frustration at office politics, but all offices have it, and I don't think this one is worse than any other.

Not sure yet how divorce proceedings will be... B is now dating someone and so is (finally) somewhat motivated to get things going, but he still hasn't made an effort to schedule time with me to pull together our respective financials for the attorney, which has to happen before he can file. And the parenting class is going to be an expensive pain in the ass, once that B is not even going to be able to do, because of his work schedule. I told him he should ask his attorney to request a waiver, or permission to use another program.
I still have this feeling I'm going to have to frequently remind him to do things, relating to the divorce...

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