I really try to be a better blogger... but I can't help it. So much has changed in my life in these past few months, but so much of it is very, very personal. Some of my friends know what I'm talking about. Someday they'll all know. A lot of the stuff that I've needed to talk about has been better put on paper, where it is only read by me.
But, the good news is, right now I am happy. Happy, happy, happy.
The other good news is: tomorrow I'm getting tattooed!! SNAP
Well, here's something I can talk about: FEELINGS
Something about myself that I've been spending some time analyzing. I feel things very, very strongly. I suspect more than average. It's not just certain emotions, but all of them. I've found that sometimes the intensity of my emotions is more than what seems to be appropriate for some situations. I am used to hiding it, so that's what I continue to do most times. I can be the picture of calm on the outside, but completely on fire on the inside. I am aware that it is probably not the best, to be hiding it all the time... but I am afraid of what might happen if I were to really let it out. I haven't come up with any answers... but I am starting to feel like I don't want to be calm on the outside all the time, although a lot of people probably think that this is a good trait. I firmly believe that feelings are for *feeling*, even when they're shitty, but I often find that I am feeling way more than I want to. Sometimes, it hurts to feel incapable of properly expressing myself (in part because I am often uncomfortable leaning on others). It hurts to have feelings that no one knows about but me. It sure does explain a lot about the emotional quirks of my children, however...