I've Been Avoiding This Post...

First time this week I've actually been on the computer. I don't even want to know how many are in my email box. :-/

I've been thinking for a while how I was going to write this, and whether or not I should try to be at least marginally cohesive, but I guess I'll just let 'er rip...
My mom has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Tentatively, a glioblastoma metforma. Don't Google it, trust me when I say the statistics are dismal. They are waiting for the pathology results from a biopsy. The oncologist said today that it is *possible* she has a primary lymphoma, which is treatable and could possibly be put into remission. The surgeon thought the GBM was probably more likely, but final diagnosis will come with the pathology results. They are having us assume the worst for now. Which, seems kind of mean, but frankly I would rather that than have false hope. She's been in the hospital since Monday. Biopsy was Wednesday, just out of ICU today. Her recovery from the surgery has not gone as we had hoped... we're not really sure when she'll get to come home. She has lost awareness of her left side, and also some vision in the left eye. So, while her left arm and leg do work, because her awareness is gone, she doesn't even know they are there. It's so weird. I've spent every day, all day, at the hospital since she was admitted. When I leave, I can't even remember where I parked the car. When I get home, all I can manage is some tea and a little TV. My husband has been the dad and the mom all week, I have barely seen the kids. And can I just say a big THANK YOU to his boss for letting him have the time off...
There's a lot more I could say about it, but I haven't got the energy at the moment. I'm trying to stay in the now, because if I think too much about the future I just can't handle my grief...