Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Thoughts on Grandma

I learned recently from my mom that my last remaining (and most favorite) grandma is not doing very well. Not from one specific disease, like cancer, but from old age (stuff just don't work any more!) and a broken heart I think. My grandpa died about five years ago... there was a lot of talk between my parents and I, regarding how long grandma could go on after that. It sounds terrible to say, but we were sure that she wouldn't be long for the world after grandpa was gone. I've not known any couples so in love, aside from my parents. Brent and I visited them about a year after we got married... that was, oh, about 8 years ago now. They were both healthy and active, and my grandpa still swatted grandma on the butt, LOL! Three years later, he was gone. When you've been with someone as long as they were together (50+ years), how do you go on? They were so very close... it was hard to imagine grandma carving out a life by herself. She actually did better than we expected, moving to Palm Desert to be closer to my aunt. Still, she's been declining, slowly at first, but much faster now. She still hurts terribly from the loss of her life partner... she has said 'It doesn't get better with time... it gets worse.' And now, she's just tired. My parents are certain that we're on the downhill slide now, so my dad is flying out in a week or so to spend a few days with her. I went with my mom to visit her about two years ago... it was painful for me to see that she was nearly a shut-in, going only from her bed to her recliner with the help of her caregiver, when she had been so active not so many years before at my previous visit. It was very, very sad. This loss is going to be devastating for my dad, who is *very* close to his mom. *sigh*

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