Shit really does start malfunctioning after age 30. First, this inner ear thing. Now, I am fairly certain that I have a *bunion*, of all things. Let me tell you, it hurts like hell and the pain wakes me up in the middle of the night. I am not yet able to accept the possibility, no matter how vain I must sound, that I must be confined to sensible shoes at age 32.
From the Hell Yes department: I'm going on the 21st of April to get one of my tattoos covered. I got the design this week. I'm sooo excited, it's going to be a long 3 weeks! 3 hours and $400, and worth every penny, it will be.
How to Churn Your Own Stomach:
Repeatedly walk barefoot through wet spot on carpet outside laundry room, worrying that washer is somehow leaking out into hallway. Unable to find trail of water from washer, closer inspection of said wet spot reveals that it is CAT PUKE. GAAAHHHH!